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Well, here we go again. I thought maybe TLC was done with Amish shows, but apparently not. Scroll down for episode guide!
PODCAST - Amish and the News, Episode 1: Listen to author and journalist, Kevin Williams, discuss the show and its authenticity (or lack of!)
Check out all Amish and the News episodes here for more discussion of Suddenly Amish!
"Suddenly Amish" - produced by Hot Snakes Media which has brought us such gems as Amish Mafia - debuts on TLC on Tuesday, January 14, and the premise of this show is absolutely nothing new—it's totally warmed over, reheated leftovers. This is a reverse of the one-time hit Amish "reality" show called "Amish in the City," except this is non-Amish young people going to an "Amish" farm to learn how to be Amish.
That premise has been tried before, and it was done exceptionally well in the British documentary "Living with the Amish."
I don't have nearly as high hopes for "Suddenly Amish". First of all, just consider the track record of TLC which tends to churn out scintillating click-bait TV. SIGH, remember when they used to be The Learning Channel.
The premise of the show is flawed too. It starts with an Amish "bishop" saying that their community is bleeding young people—that young people are leaving in droves—so therefore they're trying to attract new young people to the faith.
That's completely false. Statistically, the Amish are one of the fastest-growing churches in the country. They have large families, and upwards of 80% of young people remain in the church. In some settlements it's much higher than that.
Meet the Cast
Viewers will meet Kendra, a 33-year-old from California, who is a "former dancer and content creator"; Judah, 22, from Missouri, a rapper with a taste for luxury who also happens to be a germaphobe; Matt, a 34-year-old newly divorced dad from Texas; Aaron, 40, a Michigan pastor's son with a hearing disability that is managed with modern technology; Esmerelda, 25, of Texas, who "has so deeply intertwined her identity with glamour that she doesn’t know how to separate them"; and Billie Jo, a 44-year-old from New York, who already dresses in traditional Amish clothing because of her interest in the sect.
Their hosts are Bishop Vernon, a strict and respected leader; Allen and Sarah, parents to four adopted children; James, a self-proclaimed rebel trying to get back to the good graces of his community after being shunned; and Emma, James’ cousin who recently returned to Amish life.
Doubts About the Show
I also have serious doubts that this is an actual Amish church that is being featured in the show. It's probably a "plain" church of some sort. There are churches that have broken off from the main Amish church that retained some of their customs and ways, but they aren't actually Amish. I mean, even the reported bishop doesn't look like a typical Amish bishop.
Here's the reality about Amish reality shows: To get a truly authentic Amish experience, you would need to involve a traditional Amish family. The problem with that is the vast majority of traditional Amish families would never agree to participate in a show like this. Can it happen? "Living with the Amish" on the BBC proved it can but it takes a lot of care and respect and spadework, none of which are hallmarks of Hot Snakes Media.
Already, what I've seen in the trailer for "Suddenly Amish" just doesn't impress me. It's highly produced. Highly choreographed. It will be entertaining, but that's about it.
Look, the promise and premise of this show is as old as Hollywood: the fish-out-of-water concept. You're putting a bunch of non-Amish people into Amish life. But fish-out-of-water tales are common in Hollywood, whether it's Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman" or "Elf" or "Splash" or, back to the Amish, "Witness." Nothing new here.
I will update this post as I see episodes, but I have low expectations!
Suddenly Amish FAQ
Joining the Amish church is possible, but it is rare and difficult for someone from the outside to learn German, learn the customs, learn horse and buggy. But there have been successful converts.
Yes, cast members for these types of things typically are paid. They often have to leave their jobs, families, uproot their lives. It's usually not a huge amount, but enough to entire the participants to do it, several thousand an episode is not uncommon, more if the show "takes off" and goes into multiple seasons.
These do not appear to be members of a traditional Amish church which would be highly unlikely to participate in a show of this type.
There was a scene from episode one that made for good television but was almost surely fiction as one of the Lancaster County "Amish" showed their English guests the outhouse, complete with newspaper as toilet paper. Here is why I doubt this was authentic: while it is true that some Amish still do use outhouses, particularly the most conservative ones, the most conservative ones wouldn't participate in a show like this. So you can't have it both ways. In Lancaster County, many of the Amish do have indoor plumbing now. Is it possible this is some offshoot Amish group progressive enough to do a show but conservative enough to have an outhouse? Anything is possible. But likely? No.
Episode three suggests otherwise, but most Amish women go to Walmart to buy a bra like anyone else. Some of the most conservative Amish sections might not, they might make their own undergarments, but this is the exception rather than the rule.
Episode three suggestions that the Amish are not "allowed" to have mirrors in their homes. This is false.
Well, Jacob in Suddenly Amish apparently does. But is it common? No. Yes, there some Amish youth, I am sure, that get tattooed during their rumspringa stage. But are these things common? No.
Suddenly Amish Episode Guide
The first episode is discussed above.
Episode 2 Review "The Axe is Laid Unto the Root."
What a dumb show. So far it is formulaic Hollywood. I was willing to give it a chance and I'll keep watching. But they had a scene where the "Amish" hosts were going through Kendra's stuff to make sure there was no offensive "contraband" brought into the Amish. I can guarantee you that that would never happen. Just say I was going to a very conservative Amish home to spend the night, well, if I had electronics equipment or something inappropriate in my overnight bag, they'd never go through it and find it. And I would be respectful enough to keep it in the bag. That's just common courtesy. This whole charade of going through their luggage was just dumb. And what made the scene dumber is, c'mon, Kendra acts as if she had zero clue what to pack. She packs skimpy and racy clothes because she supposedly didn't know any better. No, she packed it because having the Amish hosts pick through it made good TV.
And, call me a prude, but I didn't appreciate the scene where the Amish host finds Billie Jo's sex toy in her bag. That scene would not have happened and I chose to watch this show with my 12-year-old daughter, thinking it'd just be a fun/dumb thing to have on, I didn't expect, nor want, something that explicit to come up. And Billie Jo absolutely should have known better, maybe Kendra or Esmerelda wouldn't, but Billie Jo? C'mon.
The whole thing with Esmerelda and her fake nails being some big crisis. Totally manufactured crisis. Most Amish could care less.
Lastly, the part where such a big deal is made about Matt and being divorced. It is true that divorce is taboo in the Amish church, but I've never experienced anything but grace and kindness for someone in that situation. I doubt he'd be barred from becoming Amish because of that in his past.
Episode 3 Review - Beauty is Fleeting
Part of me thinks I'm taking the show too seriously. I mean, what's the harm in some harmless entertainment? For someone with a passing interest in the Amish, this show may satisfy that curiosity. The only problem is if somebody just has a passing interest in the Amish and then they watch the show and think that all the Amish are like the show portrays—that's not doing the Amish any favors.
I could pick the show apart, but here are the biggest problems I found with this episode (other than the fact that this is an hour of my life I'll never get back):
Kendra is just out of her element, but the producers of the show are completely exploiting that. Kendra was devastated that Matt—after an axe-wielding James chased him out of the community—is gone from the show. I was a little surprised by that.
Anyway, Kendra is just lost without Matt and without the amenities she's used to, one of them being the phone. She wants to call her mom, and when she can't do that, she just loses it. She catches up with James in a cornfield and explains how she really needs to talk to her mom. James softens a little bit and, surprise, produces a mobile phone from his pocket and lets her call her mom on that.
I didn't time it, but the conversation that Kendra had with her mom couldn't have been any more than a minute. And that somehow satisfied her. But a normal person calling their Mom in the midst of a meltdown would need more than a minute.
Still, the larger falsehood here is that she wouldn't have access to a phone. The vast majority of Amish have some access to a phone. They're not living on Sentinel Islands somewhere.
Towards the end of the episode, they start dressing Amish. The "mouse ears" (style of Lancaster County Amish kapp) were a little overdone, but most Amish that I've met do have mirrors. Vanity, sure, it's not something that is embraced, but there's no church rule against having mirrors or wearing bras for that matter.
Episode 4 - Love Thy Neighbor
I have to admit, this was my favorite episode—but not for the reasons you might think. It was my favorite because of the made-for-TV tension and drama. For anybody who thinks you're getting a "reality" show, this episode was proof that it's anything but. This is heavily produced, semi-scripted non-reality TV with an Amish plot. Let's unpack it and look at reality versus Hollywood.
Hearing aids: The whole plot with this guy and his hearing aids is completely manufactured. The vast majority of Amish people I have met would absolutely accommodate somebody who is hearing impaired. Anytime there's a medical issue, the Amish will generally readily accommodate. For instance, I once met an Amish man who needed oxygen, so he was allowed to live in a house with electricity. The whole idea that a man would be deprived of his hearing aids so he could conform to the Amish way is ludicrous nonsense.
Esmeralda: The whole storyline about her eyelashes and fake nails is a non-storyline. If she didn't know she'd have to give that stuff up before moving to Amish country, she never should've tried to be on the show. That said, I don't think many Amish people would make a big deal about it. But she's making a big deal about it, which just blows my mind.
Billy Jo and dating Amish: There's so much about this storyline that absolutely blew my mind. The "date" they went on was simply a walk along the periphery of a cornfield, oh, and it just happened to have a bench there for them to sit on. That told me all I needed to know about how scripted this show is. They literally spent 15 or 20 minutes walking and talking, and then that was their date—so I'm not sure what we're supposed to take away from that. But the Amish guy who had tattoos and pierced nipples? Yeah, I just didn't know what to make of that. I don't know where they're finding these people. Is it possible that an Amish guy has never dated but has tattoos and pierced nipples? Absolutely, it's possible. I'm sure there are some Amish youth who've done that but is this common. No, no, no, a thousand times no.
The return of Matt: Again, this isn't reality TV—this is scripted TV. Like Matt's just going to come up from Texas unannounced and show up on the set of the show? No, this was planned all along. It creates drama. It gives Kendra a romantic interest and that will serve as fuel for the show.
Entertaining? Somewhat. Educational about the Amish? Absolutely not.
Episode 5 - The Evil One
The show is holding my interest because it is entertaining. But it is NOT educational. If you are watching this show thinking you are learning meaningful things about the Amish (other than, duh, they are human), you aren't.
A few thoughts:
I find Matt find him annoying and disrespectful and entitled. If he wants to become Amish he needs to adhere to culture and customs and spiriting Kendra away to a motel is juvenile. Yes, the Amish experience lust like everyone else, but these are English in Amish country and they could have - and should have - controlled themselves. But this contrived romance is what is needed in a Hollywood production to keep the viewers coming back, so that is why this part of the storyline is there.
The James/Emma storyline is a bit more authentic and interesting, they are third cousins in sort of a complex, flirtatious relationship. Not quite sure what is going on with them. (well, I just did a little research and have confirmed that Emma and James are both ex-Amish are just reprising their parts for the show...figured...but they do a good job).
I guess this isn't much of a review this week, but - bottom line - the show is interesting and I am interested in seeing where it will go, but, again, there's nothing "real" in this "reality" show. It's fun phoniness.
Episode 6 - Wickedness Loves Company
So Matt and Kendra go off to a motel and they "didn't hook up." Riiiiiight. Then why go to a motel? This storyline is dumb. Matt should never have decided to participate in this show if he could not abide by Amish customs and traditions.
Kendra, who once was active on OnlyFans, has a flair for the dramatic and got into a contrived "blow up" with Billie Jo. And then Kendra starts crying and then, gasp, Billie Jo and Kendra have a conversation where they patch things up.
Kendra still decides, though, that the Amish life is not for her and she dramatically exits the show.
Kendra tends to suck the oxygen out of the show, so having her gone allowed for other characters like Judah and Esmerelda to get some air time.
Emma feels like the Matt and Kendra situation was mishandled (she never really says how or why) so she follows Kendra and leaves the show, which tips the cast into crisis. Allen then convenes a conference with the bishop to figure out how to salvage this mess.
And the episode ends with some drama when Judah's mom just "shows up" to reclaim her son. Ridiculous because everyone acts so surprised by her showing up, but this is obviously scripted and planned. So,yeah, there's your reality.
Emma & James Are Not Actually Amish
A little online sleuthing turns up more about their background.
The above is a screen grab of a post from Emma. So Emma and James are both ex-Amish, something the show conveniently leaves out. Although they are upfront that James is ex-Amish and trying to get back into the church, but my gut feeling is that part is performance art. I doubt he really intends to go back.
Episode 7 - Honor Thy Mother
This was my least favorite episode of the show because it just seemed very contrived. By now, I know that this show is full of ex-Amish, actors, and scripts even though it claims to be unscripted, yes, that does undercut the potential charm of the show.
So, a short recap of the episode:
Judah's Mother comes to take him back home. One of her biggest complaints is being cut off from Judah, not knowing where he is, what he is doing, etc. Well if she doesn't know where he is, how did she find him? The show was trying to have it both ways. They mother seemed to be completely baffled by the Amish lifestyle which baffled me. Yes, I realize some people may not be that familiar with Amish culture, but her ignorance of it seemed close to contrived. And, in the end, she leaves without Judah but with some newfound respect for his resilience.
Meanwhile, Billie Jo succumbed to heat exhaustion. Most Amish homes don't have central air and Lancaster County summers can be stifling, so maybe she isn't such a great candidate for becoming Amish long-term.
The whole "storyline" of Aaron and his hearing aids is a non-storyline. Most Amish would bend over backwards to accommodate a disability to the point of allowing for electricity and wifi if needed to power the hearing aids.
Then the episode ends with discussion around the dinner table about the upcoming "Day of Reckoning" where the participants will decide whether to stay Amish or not. Billie Joe brings up LBGTQ issues and Judah starts to bring up his bisexuality and then the show ends until next week.
Episode 8 - Reckoning Day
Spoiler alert. Stop reading if you don’t want to learn more about the final episode.
I thought the final episode was incredibly anticlimactic. Half the cast had already departed the show. And, while it was somewhat suspenseful to see who would end up staying, I was genuinely curious about that, it took so long to get there, and it just was trying to manufacture drama, where there wasn’t a lot. In that sense, I don’t fault the show, there just wasn’t a lot to work with.
So, two stayed and two left the Amish.
I’m not surprised that Esmeralda left. She was just out of her element. She never seemed like a true believer and deeply committed to the cause. So she decided to leave.
Aaron, leaving was not a surprise to me. But the reason he citing for leaving just isn’t plausible. He left ostensibly because the church wouldn’t accommodate him in his need for high-tech hearing aids. That just has not been my experience with Amish culture. They will make exceptions if somebody needs something for a health reason, and I think hearing is considered a health reason. A medical reason. So the whole plot line with the hearing aids didn't pass the smell test, in my view. Personally, I think if Aaron had REALLY wanted to stay, he could have and would have found a way to deal with the hearing aid issue.
So, that leaves us with BJ and Judah, Both of them decided to stay. First Judah expressed his bisexuality, but the church seemed to shrug that off and accept him. So Judah stayed. But “deciding to stay a “is a very simplistic verdict. Joining the Amish is not easy, it’s a journey. It’s a process. It’s not something you really just “decide “so it all just seemed pretty superficial. I wish BJ and Judah both well on their journey and I’m rooting for them to make it into the Amish church as fully accepted and integrated and assimilated members, but only time will tell that. I’ll update with more information about the date of BJ and Judah when I get it.
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