Aster and Grandma dressed up for Halloween this year
My three-year-old daughter Aster with her GG (Great grandma) this past summer
By Kevin Williams
My Grandma was a woman that defied a set label. She was as American in some ways as the apple pie she so expertly made, yet in other ways as Italian as the vineyards and olives of the Calabrian countryside. Like many first generation offspring of immigrants, you could sense a palpable pull in her between her heritage and future. In my Mom’s family, she was the matriarch of the first generation born on USA soil, but she felt the pull of Italy and the embrace of America simultaneously and you could always feel the tug of those dual identities. There was as likely to be a heaping bowl of spaghetti and homemade meatballs on her table as there was a frozen Swanson TV dinner, or handmade, homemade pizzelles on a plate, alongside Little Debbie lunch-cakes. (By the way, her "secret" for homemade meatballs was lots of cheese and breadcrumbs)
Grandma’s life wasn’t easy, but she never lost a streak of child-like wonder. She could find the good in the worst creatures among us. And she spread her good worldwide when we moved overseas. We could count on a letter from Grandma almost every week, letters that informed us of the bland, but comforting, happenings of home: a new restaurant in town, an Aunt’s gout, a favorite recipe. And when I started my newspaper career, she clipped every article I ever wrote and put them in a folder, enamored by the sight of my name in print.
Grandma Mary worked a variety of jobs throughout her life, but I most remember her as a hospital cook in my hometown. When my elementary school class was collecting Campbell’s Soup labels for a fund-raising project, my grandma was our class’s secret ace, as she tore off the labels of endless soup cans in the hospital kitchen and I’d deliver them to my class by the sack full. And the class across the hall would look at us with astonished envy.
Her days spent in a hospital kitchen perfecting soups and simmering sauces made her a fierce food critic. My mother would often be on the receiving end of her “velvet glove critiques.” Recently when trying some of my Mom’s pumpkin pie, she remarked “It’s different” (you had to know the code, “okay” meant she didn’t like it, “different” meant she really didn’t like it).
Grandma loved wholesome shows like Little House on the Prairie, Murder, She Wrote, and who remembers Father Dowling Mysteries? She was a faithful follower of the Catholic church, yet harbored a live and let live progressive streak that was almost ahead of its time.
But I most remember her for simply being there. She wasn’t one to heap on a lot of advice or criticism or deep life lessons. To grandma there wasn't really any problem that a warm bowl of chili or a cold Oreo couldn't soothe. No, she gave me something far more valuable than advice and life lessons: her time. She always had time for her children and her grandchildren. And now she is out of what I loved the most. I'll miss her more than any words I can say here, but I'll never forget her and try to remember to pass on the simple gift of time to the next generation.
Xaviere Krus
Hello Kevin,
I send my condolences and sympathies from the rim of the state (Ohio). She seemed (from what was written on the website) to be a wonderful woman who inherited the charms of both the West and old european ways. As for some personal questions;
-Was she a fan of the Latin mass?If so, will her funeral be performed with the old rites? (Many Italians I know prefer the Latin mass.)
Kevin
Thank you, Xaviere...where is the rim of Ohio? Latin mass was never really a part of growing up for me...I think I heard that parts of the mass were conducted in our hometown church up until the 1960s, but Grandma never expressed missing it to me...so her service will be in the regular format! But Latin is a beautiful language!
jean
I am so sorry for the loss of your gram,she will live in your heart always
Kevin
Thank you, Jean, she definitely will!
Julie Goltermann
My sympathy to you in your loss of your grandmother.
Kevin
Thank you, Julie...
Debbie
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know my Memaw was my world, as my momma. Today I have neither. I feel your pain, but we will see them again. .
Kevin
Thank you, Debbie, meemaws and mommas definitely leave a void when they depart!
Becky
Sympathy sent to you and your family
She will always be in your heart
Kevin
Thank you, Becky
Kathy Barnes
I'm very sorry you and your family lost your greandma. Please keep Aster talking about GG. Whenever she wants to talk take time to listen.
Kathy
Kevin
Thank you, Kathy
Linda from KY
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's especially hard this time of year. I can tell what a great influence your grandmother was on your life. I hope that Aster will retain memories of her.Thank you for sharing her with us through the years. My prayers are with you and your family.
Kevin
Thank you, Linda....I, too, hope Aster will at least have a few hazy memories of my grandma...
cheryl mcnulty
I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother,Kevin. She sounded wonderful. Looks like Aster will surely miss her, too. You and your family are in our prayers. Take care.
Kevin
Thank you, Cheryl, definitely was a crazy week...Aster and Rachel loved your final portrait! I'll message you soon.
Kevin
Thank you so much, Venacy, for those comforting sentiments.
Pat
So sorry for your loss. She was an important part of your life. Keep the memories alive for your girls.
Kevin
Thank you, Pat!